In a recent article on Arlington Patch, Pedro Oliveira Jr. reported on the increase in crime in our town. Spokesperson for our Police Department, Captain Richard Flynn, noted that part of the uptick was due to domestic violence and commented:

“Family life is harder now, it costs more money and people are out of work,” the captain said. “It’s a tough economic time, and that affects all kinds of paths of life.”

Indeed, these are difficult times for many families in our community, around the state, and throughout the country. And, I’m sure that the Captain’s observations are accurate.

It got me thinking, though. Do we have to accept or even expect that domestic violence is one of the necessary by-products of the downward economy?

Perhaps there’s a more fundamental underlying cause which the economic situation is inflaming or inciting. 

What might it be?

So much of what we read, hear and watch is constantly inundating us with the irreconcilable differences between men and women and how difficult it is to communicate with each other. 

But is this a true premise? Not from my perspective. I think that we’ve bought into a myth. A myth that claims the female and male brains/thoughts are inherently different.

Now that doesn’t mean that the genders don’t act differently. They often do. But it also doesn’t mean that this is a gender/physiological-based issue.

If we look deeply – and it’s worth the look – I think we can see the same faculties, abilities, sensibilities, awareness and sensitivities in both genders. Any apparent differences in thought processes, etc., appear to be educated modes of behavior.  Modes that are far from productive. Modes that we don’t have to agree to.   

If we’re looking at anyone from a limited and stereotyped view, then we’re not seeing the whole of them. We’re missing the spiritual perspective—a perspective of equality, dignity and respect. A perspective that enriches relationships and enhances communication. A perspective that values each person’s worth.

And it’s that kind of spiritual perception that can keep situations from deteriorating into unhealthy and even violent outcomes.

So rather than react in difficult times, why not consider how to help each other?  It’s certainly better than going down the “female-male differences” road.